A Corny Trick
by HarvestBeauty
Summary: The gang get lost in a corn maze. Group fic.


_A/N: Just a goofy little story in honor of the fall season._

"Remind me to strangle you when we finally reach civilization, Jack Tripper." Janet grumbled.

Jack sighed, feeling more than a little guilty about his 'brilliant' idea of welcoming the fall season by taking everyone to a corn maze on a California farm. Oh sure, the first three hours were kind of fun, but now...

"It's been six hours already! My feet hurt!" Terri whined, as if on cue.

"I could carry you, if you'd like." Larry grinned at her. He seemed to be the only one in a good mood.

"No thanks, Larry." Terri sighed. "We've got to be close to finding the way out by now."

"I swear, we've just been walking around in circles." Janet groaned.

Jack was miffed. Why couldn't he find the way out?

"At this rate, we're going to be stuck out here after the sun goes down!" Janet continued.

"Say, that's not a bad idea!" Larry's eyes brightened at Janet's comment.

The girls protested, ready to chew Larry out, but Larry continued enthusiastically.

"Listen, it's going to be the full harvest moon tonight. Just picture it: us in a cornfield under the full moon and the stars? It could be so romantic...right, Terri?" He addressed her with a playful flirtatiousness.

"Sure, Larry." Terri brushed him off.

"I'm serious! We can stay out here on the farm and toast some marshmallows or have a bonfire...you know, really make a night of it!" Larry rubbed his hands together, his smile growing bigger.

Everybody else grumbled.

They continued walking in silence for a few moments, and then Larry started singing very quietly under his breath:

"So shine on, harvest moon

For me and my gal..."

"Larry, if you sing that song one more time, I'm going to SCREAM!" Janet growled.

"Okay, okay!" Larry bit his lip to keep from laughing. He thought Janet was so cute when she was mad. He let a few seconds of silence pass before launching into another song, much more loudly this time. He affected a 1930's trill:

"Take a picture of the moon above

In May or June

Then you can make love morning, night and noon

By the light of the same old moon..."

"LARRY!" Terri, Janet and Jack shouted in unison, causing Larry to flinch a little bit.

"Gee, tough crowd!" Larry joked, chuckling awkwardly.

As they continued to walk down the narrow path twisting and turning ahead of them, a wonderfully evil idea came to Jack. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying desperately to keep a straight face as he stopped walking and turned to face his friends.

"You know what? I think Larry has a great idea." Jack stated casually.

"What?" Janet's eyes widened in disbelief.

"Come on, Jack! I'm tired and I want to go home!" Terri pouted.

"_Alright!" _Larry pumped his fist into the air triumphantly.

"Now girls, don't worry. After dark is when they'll bring out all that creepy stuff...you know, ghosts, witches, zombies, clowns, killers. Boy, with all of them chasing us through this corn maze, that will perk us all right up! We'll find the exit in no time!" Jack said with an over the top cheerfulness.

"Woah, woah...you never said anything about this being a _haunted _corn maze." The smile disappeared from Larry's face.

"Oh, yeah." Jack smirked. "Why, are you scared?"

Jack was bluffing, of course. He hated creepy things just as much as Larry did. But Larry didn't need to know that.

"No, I'm not _scared_." Larry ran a hand through his dark hair nervously. "But why do I need that kind of stress?"

Actually, Larry was terrified. He loathed and despised creepy stuff. When it came to anything, he was a pleasure seeker, and that included the autumn season. Hayrides, pumpkin pie, apple cider, square dances, candy, Thanksgiving leftovers, apple pie...NOT haunted corn mazes and houses. Larry knew that they weren't real, but it didn't make his discomfort any less intense. The last horror movie he ever saw was 20 years ago and he had spent over half the movie under the seat in the theater, quaking in fear. He found absolutely no pleasure in being frightened and did not understand those who did.

"Oh, and the best part is the creepy ghost children! The way they laugh and giggle as they come after you is so..._horrifying_." Jack finished, giving an eerie funhouse smile to cap it all off. "So, what do you say, Larry? Do you want to stay out here until tonight?"

Larry narrowed his eyes, glaring at Jack and Jack returned his gaze with an innocent, dimpled smile. The girls watched the stand off curiously.

After a few seconds, Larry then answered Jack's question by wordlessly plunging into the wall of corn beside them, determined to just walk straight through the maze until he broke out. The girls gasped as Larry disappeared into the corn and Jack snickered.

"Poor Larry is going to be sliced to ribbons by the time he makes it out!" Terri commented. And then, her eyes widened in realization. Larry was going to be covered in hundreds of tiny cuts from the dried out corn stalks...and she would get to dress every single wound. It was a nurse's dream.

"Wait up, Larry!" Terri called, before carefully walking through the path that Larry had bulldozed with his body.

Jack and Janet watched silently for a moment, wondering how on earth they ended up as friends with these people.

"Well..." Jack nodded towards the newly forged path, very pleased with himself. "There is our way out."

"Jack, you are an evil genius." Janet smirked, linking arms with him. Together, they walked into the corn, following their friends to freedom.

THE END


End file.
